I came to faith in Jesus right around my 17th birthday. This singular event... this one decision... transformed my life from one of sin and debauchery to one of grace, forgiveness, hope and change. The timing of this drastic change... my teen years... and the massive shift in my life's trajectory was the catalyst in my decision to work with teenagers. I felt that my story could be their story too!
So I dove head first into the nurturing of my faith. I became very active with the youth group in my church. They elected me the President of our youth group. I helped plan activities, I visited teens and encouraged them to attend our youth group, I would teach a lesson once a month in our Sunday night youth group meetings. My passion for this ministry continued to blossom.
In the fall of 1977, about a year and a half after my conversion, I started Bible college with "Youth Ministry" as my major. I felt God's calling and it was my desire to prepare myself for this work.
In 1978, my brother, Bill, was called to pastor the Mid-Cities Baptist Temple in Downey, California. Not long after he made that move, I followed and became his Youth Director. Looking back, I question the wisdom of allowing a 19 year old take on that roll where my students were not much younger than me. However, despite my youth and inexperience, I believe God blessed my ministry and I really built a bond with this small group of teens.
I was given a small office and I would spend as much time as I could at the church, preparing for lessons and attempting to build a program for the kids under my spiritual care.
One day, we received a piece of mail addressed to the Youth Director. Our Assistant Pastor, Oscar, dropped it on my desk and waited there... seemingly wanting me to open it... which I did. It was from a local charismatic church and they were inviting our teens to a "Christian Rock" concert.
Now... for the purposes of this writing, my objective is not to discuss or debate the veracity of this or any other position on "Christian Rock" music. It is to examine what transpired in my response to this invitation.
As I read the content of the invitation to Oscar, I also looked to him for direction. I obviously knew we wouldn't be attending. That much was crystal clear. "What should I do?" I asked him.
"You need to write them back and give them a piece of your mind for even thinking it appropriate to invite our youth group to such an event!" He turned and left my office before turning back and sticking his head through the doorway. " And make it HOT!"
So, I wrote and I made it "HOT!"
I don't remember much of what I wrote but I do recall one line that was the essence of my message: "We will not participate with you in dragging our savior through the gutter!" I was so proud of that zinger and couldn't wait to share it with Oscar, who was delighted with my choice of words.
I mailed it off without expectation of a response but received a return letter from the Youth Pastor within about a week. I was a bit surprised but was certain that I was about to read his fiery retort to my masterpiece that I thought rivaled Martin Luther's "95 Thesis" that was nailed to the door of Castle Church in Wittenberg, Germany back in 1517. That's how delighted I was with my letter.
The letter from this youth pastor was the kindest, most thoughtful, most loving example of mature Christian love than I had ever seen. I read it over and over. I was stunned. I was so ready to send another "hot" one back but his letter totally disarmed me.
I was going to totally ignore the letter and hope that the regret I felt would simply pass with time. But it didn't. I knew I had to send one last letter to this youth pastor. This time, I didn't seek Oscar's advice. In fact, I didn't even want him to know that I was writing to this man a second time.
I poured out my heart and thanked him so much for his kindness and grace. I wanted him to know that I made a mistake and I regretted it deeply. I let him know that his letter changed me... changed my heart.
He did respond... with a quick note of appreciation and that was the end of our dialogue but it was just the start of a new way of thinking and communicating about my faith.
As for my evolving thoughts on "Christian" music... my taste has vastly broadened over the years as genres and styles come and go. I now listen to the words more than the delivery method. If they are heartfelt and doctrinally sound... they are alright by me.
So what lessons did I learn from my regretful letter?
1. Sometimes no response is the best response. We are not compelled to challenge any or all of the controversial issues that come our way. This is still a principle I struggle with but when I think back to my episode of the "LetterGate," it aids me in taking a deep breath and moving on.
2. Discourse between two individuals, particularly Christian brethren, should always be civil and empathetic. Strong convictions are fine but debates and discussions should be productive and not reactive.
3. Everyone deserves the space to work through their belief system and our involvement should be by invitation only... unless that individual is clearly headed toward destruction and your relationship is close enough that you are allowed to voice your concerns in a constructive manner.
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