Regrets?

In early 2024, as I neared retirement, people would often ask me, "What are you going to do with all your free time?" One of my stock answers was, "I plan to do some writing."

I've always enjoyed writing. I kind of got the bug in high school where I wrote sports stories for our school paper. Years later, I started writing as a cathartic operation, attempting to exorcise some pesky demons from a rather tumultuous childhood. That particular project spanned 20 years of on again, off again pecking away on my keyboard, sometimes with years in between additions to my story. The net result was 46 submissions and more than 50,000 words that I eventually turned into a blog, "Though He Fall"  

So what have I written during my 13+ months of retirement? Nada. Zero. Nothing. Until today. So... here we go.

Part of my hold-up has been the absence of a topic. I mean, beyond my original blog, I've written extensively about my wife, my kids, my siblings and my friends. I could and probably will eventually go back and tie up some loose ends with those topics but I wanted something more fresh and maybe... different.

The idea came to me some months ago. I don't recall where I was or what I was doing, but I heard a pretty familiar tune, "I Did It My Way," by the famous crooner from yesteryear, Frank Sinatra. There's a line in the song where he says, "Regrets, I've had a few..." And I thought, "Haven't we all?!" His follow-up line is, "but then again, too few to mention." That is where Frank's experience deviates from my own, as my follow-up line would be, "sit down, this is going to take awhile!"

I have heard numerous people claim that they have no regrets in life and my response is, "Really? Are you that perfect?" Maybe their understanding of the question is different than the context in which I ask it because surely... we all have regrets. They are possibly looking at life mistakes as part of what has shaped them. Okay then, me too! The "regret" is part of our growth journey. The "regret" should be a catalyst that is supposed to keep us from repeating our mistakes. 

My hold up in launching this blog topic has been my own procrastination. I would briefly think about what might be some helpful and interesting submissions and then I would quickly get distracted after only a couple thoughts. Retired life will do that to you. Nobody is making me do this and the lack of pressure makes it easy to get distracted. 

On a flight from Florida to our home in Ohio this week, I once again thought about this topic. Is there enough here to write about? Are there more than a couple regrets that have stuck with me for all of these years? Captive in that flying, metal tube, I began to make some notes in my phone and within a very short period of time, the list of regrets began piling up.

So yeah... I am going to share some of the regrets that still sting when I think about them. Most are embarrassing, immature, ineffective attempts at some aspect of life. What is my motivation for sharing such personal experiences? Because they are cautionary tales from an old man who isn't too concerned what others may think at this point but more than that, I hope to share the life lessons that were a result. Maybe you can relate. Maybe my experiences can help you in some way. 

So, stay tuned... submissions are forthcoming.